What kinds of things help support us in changing or creating a new habit? Visualizing can be very compelling for some people. The clearer you picture your goal and how good you will feel when you reach it, the easier it becomes to make the necessary changes to get there. Affirmations can also help you reach a goal. Come up with a statement as if you’ve already achieved what you wish. “I AM happy,” rather than, “I want to be happy,” and then repeat it throughout the day, every day until you are on your way. Having structure with others can also help you to change. If, for example, you want to get in shape, you can join a class at a community college for weight training, aerobic work outs, or sport. In a class you are given an outline of expectation, a schedule for working out, a finite course over a number of weeks and most likely you will have to keep a record of your workouts and your performance will be reviewed, which means you must be accountable to someone. It will be easier to stick with because you won’t be doing it alone. Working out in your own home has the convenience of location and time, but there is no accountability except to yourself and you have no company while doing it. If you’ve been having difficulty establishing a new habit, find a group or a class where you can join others who are trying to achieve similar goals. There are other things too, that can make it easier or harder to change. One is our image of our self and our abilities. Do we believe we will succeed, or do we expect we will quit? Can we picture ourselves (again the visualization) where we want to be, or are we uncomfortable with the idea of being there? For instance, would you be comfortable being wealthy, or would you feel guilty for having wealth when so many are poor? You will have to work out any issues you have before you will be able to comfortably keep a new habit or lifestyle. Sometimes a little change goes far to support making a big change. For instance, some men will grow a beard or shave one off and some women will change their hairstyle or hair color when they are mentally trying to create a larger change in their lives. They might shave a beard when they begin dating, or color their hair when they are trying to lose weight. A little visible change acts as a reminder that you are indeed changing and not quite the same person you used to be. Redecorating a room in your house or your office is another small change that can serve as a reminder for other changes in habit or new attitudes.

This article is about the many different ways we can trip ourselves up in setting goals, particularly with New Year Resolutions and what you can do to change. Many people evaluate their lives and set new patterns around the New Year. There are several ways that this can deliberately set you up to fail. Often this is done because there is an expectation from others that you should set resolutions at this time of year. Also there is often a sense of giving things up or a judgment about not having succeeded the previous year. Typically these type of resolutions have the word ‘must’ associated with them. Here are a few examples I have collected over the years as an NLP Coach: I must change jobs I must be able to get into this new dress by February I must do this, give up that…and so on. I’m sure you get the idea. This approach has a few pitfalls. How committed is the person to their goals if they feel forced in to them? The judgments and the sense of giving things up attaches negative emotions to the goals so they don’t seem like fun or excitement. Is it any wonder that so many people fail with New Year Resolutions before the end of January? NLP Techniques – A Solution Three elements of NLP Techniques include examining intention behind behavior, emotional state and belief changes. By taking these three elements we can start looking at our New Year Resolutions differently. Goal Setting and Intention By examining what we gain from our goals, who they are actually for and why we want them some interesting things sometimes fall out. The motivation to succeed or not comes from this element. Emotions – The Secret to Success Have you ever seen or experienced the situation where the closer you got to success the more anxious you got about it? And then possibly fell at the last hurdle? The problem with being too emotionally attached to your goals might lead to failure. How well would your crops grow if you were constantly digging them up to see how far they had got? NLP Techniques – Belief Changes What you believe about yourself and the world around you will determine your success or failure. Any NLP Practitioner Training will show you a whole number of techniques for changing beliefs, letting go of limiting beliefs and installing empowering one. Using these NLP processes you can ensure that the goals you set and the New Year Resolutions that you take on are meaningful and that you will succeed. But the real power for making big sweeping changes to your life comes from NLP Coaching Systems. NLP BreakThrough Coaching Process Many coaches are also NLP Practitioners and they have integrated some powerful tools into their coaching practice. But there are a few very skilled Hypnosis and NLP Trainers that have developed the NLP BreakThrough Coaching Process that can help in making serious and deep changes in a person’s life. This highly specialized NLP Coaching process starts by examining your goals, expectations, unconscious behaviors and repeat patterns of behaviour. Through this we can determine the key limiting beliefs and negative emotions that will let you really achieve anything you want. Then through systematic Interventions you can let go of the past and embrace powerful new ways of being. The whole process usually takes as little as three or four hours. Many people that are serious about their goals and achievements have taken this route to success. When you think about how you and the people around you set their New Year Resolutions you might be considering doing things differently. A little imagination and creative thought might give you the opportunity to achieve more in the next twelve months than you have in the last twelve years. How much of a result would that be for you?

Several years ago, I developed an irrational fear of my mailbox. At the time I was struggling through severe financial difficulties, and it seemed like each day’s mail delivery brought new “horrors” in the form of mounting bills, late notices, shut-off notices, and general bad news. Eventually I learned how to turn that trend around and begin attracting greater prosperity into my life, but I was surprised to discover one day that I still clenched up in fear and anxiety every time I went to check the mail – or even walked past my mailbox! By this time I was well-versed in the power of the Law of Attraction when it comes to abundance, so I knew that my waves of mail-related anxiety weren’t serving me – in fact, they threatened to send me right back to the Land of Lack! I decided it was time to have a “love affair” with my mailbox. Each morning when I awoke, I’d visualize my mailbox bursting with checks, gifts, and good news. I’d imagine myself feeling lighthearted and happy as I went to check the mail, and jumping excitedly up and down as I received my abundance each day. Before I went to check the mail each day, I’d be sure to get myself into a state of joy and enthusiasm for the “goodies” that would be delivered that day – even if I wasn’t sure what the day’s mail would hold. I made sure NEVER to check the mail when I was feeling tired, irritable or lack-focused in any way. The result? It was like a tidal wave of goodness came crashing into my mailbox! I started receiving unexpected checks, rebates, free gifts from companies I had purchased from before, and so on. I even received an unexpected refund from my insurance company because I had overpaid without knowing it! All of this great stuff just came rushing forth because I altered the energy I was emitting regarding my mailbox. Rather than attracting negative things, I began attracting more positive things – even things I couldn’t possibly have imagined! Has your mailbox developed an ominous aura too? Do you cringe when you reach for your mail, worrying about the latest “horrors” that await you? It’s time to turn the tides of lack into a tidal wave of prosperity! Here’s how to do it: 1) First, as described above, begin visualizing your mailbox holding only GREAT stuff! Imagine receiving unexpected checks and gifts in the mail, and feeling calm and confident about any bills you receive. Know that you always have enough money to pay them. Create a warm glow of peacefulness and joy when it comes to your mailbox. Do this every day until you no longer feel anxious or fearful about what the mail will bring. 2) Before you go check the mail each day, be sure to get yourself into a state of high, strong, positive emotion. Generate feelings of excitement, joy, happiness, and love. Allow yourself to feel calm, peaceful and confident that the mail will hold only good things each day. 3) If you do happen to receive something negative (like a collection notice or a bill you can’t pay yet), be SURE to stay CALM about it. Simply affirm that it will all work out for the best, you will have the money to pay your bills on time, and so on. Avoid investing any negative emotional energy to what you don’t want (more lack)! Stay with your positive emotions, no matter how much willpower it might require at the beginning. 4) It’s also helpful to open “gateways” through which prosperity can enter your life, if possible. As I described above, the universe can find plenty of ways to deliver greater prosperity into your life, both expected and unexpected! However, your results may be quicker if you take action to help the process along. Possible gateways might include: buying a lottery ticket, applying for a better job, entering contests, sending in rebate requests for recent purchases, and so on. 5) Give it time to work. Remember that you’re constantly experiencing a residual effect of your previous thoughts, emotions, and expectations so don’t be surprised if this process takes a few days to turn around. However, know that it CAN turn around immediately too! It all depends on the intensity of positive energy and belief you devote to it. Remember, what you focus on EXPANDS! The more positive thoughts and emotions you can direct toward your mailbox – or any area of your life – the more positive results you’re going to see there.

Last year I saw a documentary about the cult leader Jim Jones called “Jonestown: The Life And Death of People’s Temple”. It is the history of the murder/”suicide” of 913 members of the People’s Temple in Guyana through photos, clips, recordings and interviews of surviving members. The Reverend Jim Jones was a master at getting people to join his “ministry” because he reached out to people who were disenfranchised and he preached equality. This appealed to a larger community and he expressed caring and was able to eventually use his power to persuade the followers to drink cyanide-laced cherry Flavor Aid. This is a very disturbing example of evil persuasion through isolation, charismatic authority and all of this in relationship to brainwashing and manipulation. There are two kinds of isolation–physical and mental. Jim Jones used both. Physical isolation isn’t always possible for some cults, MLM companies or religions. It’s possible they may employ both kinds of isolation, but normally the mental isolation is enough to keep their members involved. They begin to “divide and conquer” the members by suggesting that anyone who doesn’t support their choice in life of belonging to the group/cult/religion/MLM, is not looking out for their best interest. When isolation is used by someone who has bad intentions, it is a very dangerous tool. Isolation can also be used for sales or business on a more reputable level. Mental isolation is most effective with customers/clients/prospects who you see on a regular basis. Lots of small interactions tend to create more loyalty. Cafes are a good example of this. It’s competitive. People have many choices from chains to locally owned chains to independently owned mom and pop cafes. Recently I was in a locally owned cafe where the owner sparked up a conversation and suggested their product was not generic, it was high quality and didn’t cost a fortune like the most famous national chain. If you are invested in a home grown, grass roots type of existence, this remark might be preaching to the choir. Alternately, if you’re someone who doesn’t pay much attention to things like that, then it might plant a seed or it might just float right past you. Some religions use isolation in terms of imposing rules about what is and what is not okay to talk about with non-members or “outsiders”. I consider myself a very spiritual person and this is in no way a judgment about religion. it’s just a way to illustrate persuasion and how the persuasion of isolation is used to indoctrinate members of a given group. Creating a shared experience is another way to create a psychological isolation. This can be accomplished in business by having a retreat or conference. It can be used to reward employees. Shared tragedy also has this effect. Think of 9/11 wives/survivors, New Orleans residents who were at the Superdome, Gulf War veterans. All of these groups have incredibly powerful bonds and there is the potential for them to become very committed to each other. The final strategy in isolation is to ‘predict the future’. Sales people do this all the time in response to the ‘shop around’ objection. “Sure, go ahead. But X shop doesn’t have our selection (return policy, prices, etc.)” Cults use this future predicting by telling new members that their “choice” in joining will be ridiculed by friends and family. The cult leaders offer this as “proof” that the new member’s family and friends obviously don’t care about them as much as the group does. ‘If they really cared about you, wouldn’t they be glad that you found something to make you happy?’ I urge you to use this information with integrity and honesty. Failing to do so will most definitely come back to bite you.