All posts by man

Developing A New Attitude

Did you ever notice that the most successful people are always very positive and they don’t let things very powerful energy that they have inside of them that bother them for very long? How do they do that? The answer is that there is a makes it easier for them to turn away from negative things and toward more positive things. Some people are born with this ability but some people have to work at it to achieve it. Unfortunately, most people don’t have it and find it too hard to get it for themselves. This is because it takes real perseverance and effort over a long period of time to develop a new attitude about life. Here are some tips for getting started and doing whatever you can to stick to your plan. The most important thing about developing a new attitude is to first recognize that your attitude is bad to begin with. Most people don’t want to admit this anyway so their plan never gets off the ground. Admitting that you don’t have such a great attitude is probably the most significant part of your future plan because it will help you to be able to see what you need to work on. Once you have admitted that you need help, you will be willing to try some new things like going to a group or taking up a new hobby to improve yourself. From there, you will gain some extremely positive ideas that can help you to develop an even better plan for the future. After you have decided to create a new attitude for yourself, you can also make a commitment to finally improve yourself in some area that you had always wanted to improve but never had the courage to do so. Some people decide to take a public speaking course such as Toastmasters and others decide to take up drawing or painting. You can join a self-help group or begin to do formal meditation or yoga to improve yourself. Any of these things will help and they will all lead you to more ideas that could later be added to your list once you have begun. It is important, however, to have a long term goal and to stick to that overall plan in some sense. Otherwise, your plan to develop a new attitude might fall by the wayside as soon as you meet your first new friend or decide that you would rather go shopping with your group members instead of practicing your yoga routine! A long term plan is one of the hardest things for people to stick by but it is paramount to developing a sincerely new attitude. Major changes to a person’s attitude don’t happen overnight so there must be a dedication to stay on the task and keep improving your plan over the long term. Eventually, over a period of many months or even years, you will find that you have become a completely different person from who you used to be. You no longer will feel depressed at all and you will never feel scared or worried about anything. This is true! It is really possible to eliminate all the negative emotions from your life if you truly want to. Say goodbye to fear, grief, shame and guilt forever. They are useless emotions that don’t help anyone at all! You can learn to weed these emotions out of your life over the long term and eventually enjoy a more happy and fulfilling life. As the saying goes, “Many are called but few are chosen” and this is your big chance to choose yourself as a person who is going to turn their life around and make something better of themselves. Getting serious at the onset is the most important part of the long term plan. How much of a serious heart do you have in you? Can you trust yourself to stick by a plan, even the smallest of plan, for a long period of time? How much can you depend on yourself to follow through and do this great task that you are setting in front of yourself? It is all up to you 100% and nothing can stop you if you are indeed very serious. Developing a new attitude can be the greatest goal a person ever makes for themselves and it can be the beginning of the best thing you have ever done. Make the move now and make it for keeps! You can do it!

The Law Of Attraction And How You Can Deal With Depressions

The knowledge about the Law of Attraction has become the focus point of many conversations. Many people feel a positive influence in their life because of the power of the Law of Attraction and how one can make it work in the right direction. Learning about this cosmic law has helped countless persons to make deliberate decisions when it comes to improve their health. A person that is suffering from depressions often feels that there is no hope of getting better. The quality of life is often at an all time low. If this has been your experience you may want to read on and find out what you can do. Going to a doctor may be of some help but according to some statistics almost half of the people who are on medication for depression did not need the medication to get well. When you use the power of the Law of Attraction you can take the first steps to feel better yourself. You are not dependent on any external help because you can use the power of the Law of Attraction anytime you want to. You can choose the live that you want to live. It is you who creates what you want when you know about the Law of Attraction. You can be a deliberate creator of your own life experience. Here are 3 simple steps that can help you along the way when using the power of the cosmic laws: 1. Meditations are important they will help you to relax and to connect to source energy. You can meditate daily and in a quiet place without distractions. One session should last for about 15 minutes or more. When you are doing your meditation sessions try to turn off any noise if possible. Radio, TV and telephones should be turn off. There are instructions available of how to do your meditation and how to get the most out of it. 2. The Law of Attraction responds to your vibrations and emotions. What ever kind of vibration and emotion you have the Law of Attraction will bring more of that back to you. Here is the key to a happier life. You now can deliberately create a happier life with the Law of Attraction. Look at funny movies or movies with a happy ending, avoid watching violent or sad movies. Try to avoid people that may make you feel down. Create pleasant and peaceful surroundings. Listen to soothing back ground music while taking a relaxing bath. Enjoy an afternoon with a warm cup of coffee while reading a good book. Whatever will make you feel better do it! 3. Do your affirmations to program your subconscious mind. You can say these affirmations daily. Choose an affirmation for example like: “I am feeling good and I am happy. I love my life”. You can choose any affirmation that will help in the process of getting well. Affirmations are tools to work on your subconscious mind to achieve any goal that you have. These are just a few tips to get you started to feel better and to improve your well being. Depending on how severe your depression may be you may still have to seek professional help. You may have to talk to a therapist to help with your condition. The Law of Attraction however will help you to make the first important steps. The daily exercise will speed up the recovery process and you may eventually live without having depression. Knowing how the Law of Attraction works will help you in this endeavor.

Finding Passion Purpose – Uncover Your Hidden Clues

Did you ever have a parent tell you, possibly after you had asked one too many questions, “Curiosity killed the cat!” Were you taught the story of Pandora who was given a box of gifts from the gods with instructions never to open the box? Unfortunately her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the box that released all the misfortunes that would plague mankind forever. These and other childhood messages paint curiosity as bad and dangerous, something to avoid. So is it any wonder a child brimming with questions and innate curiosity becomes an adult who is stuck or dissatisfied with life, lacking the natural ability to be curious? What if curiosity doesn’t kill the cat or unleash misfortune? What if curiosity gives you clues to what lights you up, to your passions and purpose? What if curiosity offers an antidote to judgment of yourself and others? Curiosity can be one of your most valuable allies in discovering and creating a life you love. Curious? Read on. Clues to Passion & Purpose When using the tool of “checking your lights” to determine if an idea, activity, or goal energizes and enlivens you, most of the time you are clearly lit up or not. Sometimes, though, you are not strongly “lights on” and yet you sense a spark of light, a subtle increase in your energy. You’re curious about something. Your curiosity is worth pursuing: it offers clues to explore and steps to take to discover what you are passionate about. Follow the sparks of your curiosity. Journey the paths you haven’t traveled before and be open to new interests and passions that could unfold. You might even have an experience like mine: an initial spark of curiosity led me to discover my calling. In my case, I had long known I preferred to be the question “asker” rather than the question “answerer” in social and business situations. I saw no relation, though, between this and the life calling I’d been seeking for years. Then I attended a Clarity International workshop to learn what lit me up. I was told I had “curiosity” about “interviewing.” I was also curious about the process my Clarity coaches were using and the profound effect that process was having on people. So I followed my curiosity. I attended more Clarity events and began Clarity coaches’ training, staying curious and noticing what lit me up. Eventually I had the opportunity to “interview” workshop participants, asking questions in a way that helped them discover what truly lit them up. When I used my questioning skills to help others find their passions — I had found my own passion and purpose! All this from following my initial sparks of curiosity. This experience definitely made me a believer in the power of curiosity! I often ask clients to ‘stay curious’ about something or to follow their curiosity. When they do, they often discover something that helps them create more pleasure, passion, and purpose in work or life. That’s not all though. What else do you think curiosity can do for you? Antidote to Judgment Do you tend to be critical of yourself and others? That’s a habit or trait that many of us have. Curiosity is an amazing antidote to judgment. It is impossible to be curious and critical at the same time. Try it! Think of someone or something you judge. Now flip your switch to curiosity. You must be sincere; if you’re just pretending to be curious, it won’t work. However, if you can play with your mind and focus on something in that person or situation that you’re genuinely curious about, you cannot be judgmental at the same time. Here’s an example. You’re stopped at a traffic light and when the light turns green the car in front of you doesn’t go. You could start thinking “What’s wrong with that woman holding everybody up?” Instead, you could switch to curiosity with questions like “Did that woman just get some bad news?” Or “Is my being stopped here keeping me from getting into an accident further down the road?” Judgment. Curiosity. Which would be less stressful? Which is lighter and more fun? Which has more possibilities in it? By the way, this example was prompted by a story in O Magazine in which the woman who didn’t go at the green light was desperately trying to save her baby who was choking. We never really know what’s going on with other people, do we? Curiosity is valuable in so many ways. It gives us clues to passion. It shifts us out of our judgments. It also fuels our learning. And it’s a great tool to get an enlivening conversation going at cocktail parties and other social events. Have I piqued your curiosity about curiosity? I hope so! So now what? In Your Life Curiosity is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets. When you value, nurture, and follow your curiosity it will grow. Try playing with your curiosity. Each day set your intention to be curious. You can do this in the morning, before meetings and social events, whenever you realize that curiosity would be a good ally (which is usually!). If you want to see what clues to your passions and purpose are hidden in your curiosity, try this: 1) What’s something you are curious about? A person, an idea, a place, a book, an activity. Your curiosity could be a tiny glimmer or voracious. 2) What could you do to explore this curiosity? Make it a small, doable action that lights you up. Of course, if you want to do something big and bold, go for it! 3) What do you learn when you take this action? Do you have more energy, more curiosity? Do you want to take another step in this direction? By the way, sometimes when you are curious about something and explore it a bit, your curiosity drops. This is fine. You just check this item off your list and move toward the next spark of light. 4) Repeat as desired. For, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, “I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” Enjoy!

Alcohol Kills A Person's Necessary Growing Pains

When I was in high school during the early 70’s the drinking age was 18 years old. Every one of my friends was a big drinker; some of them even drank in my father’s bar, where I worked. It was unbelievable how much booze these kids could consume. I witnessed kids drinking a case of beer in one night, others drinking pitchers of mixed drink, and still others drinking booze right out of a bottle. I myself would have a few beers occasionally, but my real drinking didn’t start until I was about 25 years old. By the way the girls in high school used to go crazy for the guys who were called the big drinkers. It seemed like the prettiest girls were impressed with a guy who could drink a pitcher of beer without coming up for air. Drinking was common place in the early seventies. Then all of a sudden you would hear about a group of teenagers who were killed in an alcohol related car wreck, That’s when everyone laid low for a while, and didn’t drink or at least didn’t drink and drive. After one too many of these alcohol related accidents, the laws and the penalties got stiffer. The parents who had one of their children killed because of a drunk driver started to organize and formed the group Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). The students who had their friends killed in accidents formed Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD). Police task forces were organized and were trained to identify people who were driving a car under the influence of alcohol. The word designated driver took on meaning. This was supposed to be the person who didn’t drink at the party and could drive everyone else home who was drunk. It started to be less and less fashionable to be drunk at a party, and heavy drinking was starting to become taboo. I spent about 10 years of heavy drinking myself between the ages of 25 and 35. I decided to quit when my daughter Sarah was born, and so I stopped all alcohol consumption. This was probably the best thing that I ever did for my own health, and for the welfare of my kids. Sarah will be 17 soon if you do the math, I haven’t been a drinker for almost 17 years. Sarah even commented to me on more than one occasion, “Dad I am so glad that you don’t drink.” She has been around some of her friends’ parents who are big drinkers and she has seen some behavior that she didn’t like. I felt very proud that I heard this from my daughter, until I discovered about 100 beer cans in the cellar of her house from a party that had gone on there about one week earlier. I started to wonder if she was going to take my place as the family lush. When I questioned her about the beer cans she said, “Oh yeah, dad can you take them to your house to get rid of them? Mom doesn’t want to put them out at the curb here because she thinks it might look bad.” I said to her, “You’re damn right it looks bad, it’ll look bad no matter where you put those cans.” I asked her why she was drinking. She responded with, “It helps you get loosened up.” “Loosened up for what?” I said. She finished the dialog by saying, “Dad I’m shy, and it makes it easier for me to have conversations with other people.” The alcohol related problems that have occurred in society today, like people getting killed in auto accidents, or the health related issues like a rotten liver due to heavy drinking, are widely publicized by the media. Kids are told that they can’t drink and drive. But it doesn’t stop them. I only have to go back to my daughter’s comment to find the reason why she was drinking: “Dad I’m shy and it makes it easier for me to have a conversation with other people.” Why is this comment she made so troubling to me? Because if the booze helps her with her shyness, then when will she ever develop the skills to talk to people without the booze? When young people make it a habit to drink in order to deal with problems they have socially, this causes their emotions to go dormant at the age that they started to drink, which then prevents them from maturing emotionally. Drinking becomes their social and emotional coping mechanism. These young people do not experience the natural growing pains that must be gone through where they learn how to interact with others on their own, without using the alcohol to help them. Natural growing pains that are part of the maturing process should not be avoided or salved by the use of alcohol because the alcohol will only retard maturity or cause it to never be developed. Young people who drink become extremely one dimensional. They do not become interesting people. They don’t develop a wide variety of interests or hobbies. They have desire to hang around with anyone who seems different, so they really limit the kinds of things they talk about or do. They basically stay stuck where they are at the age they started drinking. This whole thing reminds me of a book I read by Robert Bly called The Sibling Society. This book talks about a society with no vertical vision. The only gaze that the people have is a horizontal one. This means that people can see only those who are in their immediate view. As we now go through yet another generation of alcohol abuse it’s time to realize what alcohol is really doing to our young people who have to learn how to be emotionally mature, but won’t if they continue to drink. We can’t rely on the media to communicate this societal problem. The media without fail covers stories about stars who have alcohol and drug abuse related problems. What comes across to young people is that these stars enter a rehabilitation program for drug and alcohol addiction, and then they come out waving to the public looking perfectly cured. The only message that gets conveyed is that there are no really bad consequences to drinking. I think the thing that troubles me the most is the observations that I have made of my own life. At 25 years old I was a heavy drinker and I really didn’t know why I drank the way I did. Often I would go the refrigerator for a beer and ask myself the question, am I thirsty or depressed? I really didn’t have the answer then. I believe that I do now. The reality is I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. Social situations made me uncomfortable, a few drinks did the trick and I became more adept at holding conversations with other people and interacting in a group. When I was 35 years old my daughter Sarah was born and I made the decision to quit drinking so that she would never see the damaging effects of alcohol. My daughter started to drink for the same reason that I did which frightens me to no end. I guess I am going to have to go through some growing pains now at 53 years old, along with my daughter who is almost 17. I wish that I had been through this process 30 years ago. I wonder who will grow up first, my daughter or me. Time will tell.

Managing Your Time By Making To Do Lists

Do you often feel overwhelmed by the amount of work you have to do? Do you face a constant bombardment of looming deadlines? Do you sometimes just forget to do something important, so that people have to chase you to get work done? All of these problems can be solved by constructing a simple “To-Do List”. To-Do Lists are prioritized records of the tasks that you need to carry out, ranging from most important to least important. Keeping effective To-Do lists ensures efficiency and organization, and is often the first personal time management breakthrough for people as they begin to make a success of their careers. While To-Do Lists are very simple, they are also extremely powerful, both as a method of organizing yourself and as a way of reducing stress. Often problems may seem overwhelming, or you may have a seemingly huge number of demands on your time. This can leave you feeling out of control, and overburdened with work. Preparing a To-Do List Start by writing down the tasks that face you, and if they are large, break them down into their component elements. If these still seem large, break them down again. Once you have done this, run through the tasks allocating priorities, from urgent to trivial. If too many tasks have a high priority, run through the list again and demote the less important ones. Try to limit your jobs to a maximum of 10, any bigger and it will appear daunting. Using Your To-Do List Everyone will use their To-Do lists differently, depending on their line of work; if you are in a sales-type role, a good way of motivating yourself is to keep your list relatively short and aim to complete it every day. In an operational role, or if tasks are large or dependent on other people, then it may be better to keep one large list and ‘chip away’ at it. It may be that you carry unimportant jobs from one To-Do List to the next. You may not be able to complete some very low priority jobs for several months. Only worry about this if you need to – if you are running up against a deadline for them, raise their priority. If you use successful To-Do Lists, you will ensure that: You remember to carry out all necessary tasks; You tackle the most important jobs first, and do not waste time on trivial tasks. You do not get stressed by a large number of unimportant jobs. In conclusion, prioritized To-Do lists are fundamentally important to efficient work and time management.