“It is as if evolution has built a safety device in our nervous system that allows us to experience full happiness only when we are living at 100% – when we are fully using the physical and mental equipment we have been given.” ~Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, persuasively. . . are you functioning at 100% of your capacity? We’re born to learn, thrive, live and search for happiness, meaning and fulfillment, and yet many find these things to be out of reach. Why is it that some people struggle with their finances, their love relationships, their weight, and a general lack of motivation, while others seem to live up to their full potential with ease? We’re living in accelerated times with technology advancing faster than we can keep up with it. As a result of all the external stimulation, I believe we have a disconnect with our other-than-conscious selves. Once we repair that disconnection, amazing, miraculous things can happen. If we consider our subconscious mind a friend, and communicate with it directly, succinctly and, in a way, strictly, we can move mountains. The gentle giant is a power capable of being harnessed to aid us in our pursuit of fulfillment. They’ve been with us since the minute we were born and since then, they’ve been learning by observing what it is we hear and do. Everything that goes on around us is being filtered into this other-than-conscious. As children we were conditioned whether that be through rewards, punishments, through school and experiences. Our other-than-conscious learned too–it learned to expect certain ways of being, creating metaphorical maps of what we could expect out of life based on this early conditioning. Of its many roles, the subconscious is a powerful persuader–self-persuader–and when you understand this, you are naturally able to engage its help. The main function of the other-than-conscious is to keep us alive. Another is to keep us doing exactly what we’ve always been doing. This is, at times, problematic, especially when you’re trying to make big changes in your life. It’s possible that your other-than-conscious has been sabotaged by negative conditioning. It runs on a ‘I can’t do that’ program. This part of the brain is responsible for turning something into a habit by helping you know something on ‘auto pilot’ instead of having to ‘remember’ it. This works both positively and negatively for us. As we reframe the power of our other-than-conscious as a partner instead of something we hardly ever consider or communicate with, it can really make an enormous difference in our lives. So the big question is: how do we befriend this gentle giant? Well. . . how do you make any other friend? You gain rapport with them. It’s that easy. I thought this was silly at first too. I thought, ‘Why do I have to make friends with a part of myself?’ Take that leap of faith and you’re going to find a huge difference in your life. And this is how to do it: Give yourself a little pep talk. Ask for what you need help with. ‘Dear Gentle Giant. . . I’d love to double our income. I think we’re absolutely worth it.’ Or maybe, ‘Hi. I know we’ve had some rocky relationships and there has been a bad pattern created and now, I’d like to end that and have a great connection. What do you think? Let’s do it together.’ You could also ask for help with things you’re learning, as in, ‘Gentle giant, I would absolutely love to have my persuasion skills increase exponentially. You are really the one I can count on for help.’ Everything that you are, everything that you do, and everything that you have began with your intention to have it in one way or another is controlled by your other-than-conscious mind. All you have to do is tap into your persuasive power and your persuasion skills will naturally develop.

What’s your New Years Resolution? – Loose Weight? – Get in shape? – Quit Smoking? – Spend more time with the family? – Get your finances in order? – Get a better job? Whatever it is, you can make it happen. All you need is a plan. You need to identify your goals, create your plan and execute it. Identify Your Goals What are your goals? You should have a specific goal. If your goal is to lose weight, do you have a specific number in mind? Do you want to loose 10 pounds? 20 pounds? Or do you want to fit into size eight clothes? If you want to spend more time with family, what would that look like? “Date Night” every week? Lunch with Mom once a month? Identify what your goals are and write them down. Be as specific as possible; what is your goal and when are you going to achieve it (set a date)? Make sure your goals are reasonable and achievable. There is no use in setting goals that you know you will not follow through on. Create A Plan How are you going to accomplish your goal? What are you going to do and when? Your plan should include specific benchmarks so that you can measure progress and stay on track. Just like your overall goal, your benchmarks should be measurable and realistic. Are you going to lose five pounds/month? Get to the gym three days a week? Start with small steps that you can easily accomplish. As you accomplish your early goals, the momentum will build so that it is easier to complete tougher steps late on. As you complete each step, acknowledge your progress and reward yourself with something that isn’t going to detract from your overall goals. If your goal is to lose weight, don’t reward yourself with a candy bar for losing five pounds. Treat yourself to a movie or a new pair of shoes instead. If you don’t succeed in completing one of these steps, don’t give up; stay flexible and committed to achieving your ultimate goal. How are you going to achieve your goals? Are you going to join a gym or build one in your home with a Bowflex system? Start a Weight loss program like Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem? Identify all of the support systems that you will need. Execute Your Plan Start NOW! Don’t procrastinate. Get others involved. If you want to lose weight, find a work-out buddy or go start hiking with a friend. You will have someone to keep you motivated and you will enjoy spending the time together. Or have someone hold you accountable. If your friends know you are trying to lose weight, they help you to eat healthier with a little encouragement, or they may just give you the evil eye the next time try and order that burger instead of a salad. Just telling someone else what your goals are will also make the more real. If you just keep it to yourself, you can always change your mind and it never existed, but once someone else knows about it, it is real. Stay positive and flexible, but keep your eye on the big picture. You set the goal, it’s your plan, your life. Keep working toward on the big picture. Remember, having a New Year’s Resolution without having a plan to accomplish it is just making a wish.

If you’ve been struggling with your excess fat, the prospect of the upcoming holidays may well fill you with dread. You barely fit in your clothes as is. If things go the way they usually go during the holidays, you may have to join the post-holiday shopping crowds out of necessity! You won’t have a thing to wear – because nothing will fit anymore. I don’t know about you, but that prospect always makes me cringe. I’ve been there, and I’d rather not repeat it. Which is why I have occasionally approached the holiday season in a rather contrarian spirit when it comes to my intake of food. And I’m planning to do it again this year. How’s that? Easy. There are two major weight loss facts that work in my favor here: Every pound I lose between Thanksgiving and early January counts twice! It’s a matter of simple math! As you know, those of us already struggling with extra weight can easily add 10 pounds or more during a few weeks of reckless ingestion of cookies and eggnog. I’ve done it before, and I don’t care to repeat that particular feat. Now imagine this: Instead of adding 10 pounds, how would you feel if you were to lose 10 pounds instead. Or even “just” 5 pounds. You’d be way ahead of the game, wouldn’t you. Sure, it’ll be a bit of a hassle. Maybe even a big hassle. But just for a few weeks. Meanwhile, if you keep the pay-off in mind, it will feel so worth it. But it wouldn’t be half as good an idea if it weren’t for fat loss secret number two: Most people’s bodies seem to respond very nicely to alternating high and low calorie intake days. There are several diets that feature this technique, including renegade versions of traditional ones. Just check out the Wendie Plan, Wendie’s version of Weight Watchers, where she distributes the 35 extra “points” over just 3 to 4 of the 7 days, thereby creating quite some ups and downs. The weight though will just go down, down, and down some more because that kind of “weight cycling” prevents our bodies from turning into metabolic slugs. Imagine the potential of this little trick. You could work its magic by simply planning some diet days alternating with some less restrictive days – carefully scheduling the more generous allotments for the days with office parties, family Christmas celebrations, and so on. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Yes, I know! It’s going to be hard with all the seasonal goodies around. So let’s review the benefits: If you DO lose weight NOW, it will count DOUBLE! Instead of gaining 10 pounds, you could LOSE 10 pounds! Net loss: 20 pounds, maybe even more! Wouldn’t THAT be worth a little awkwardness around the punch bowl? Imagine being that much slimmer come New Year’s Eve! Imagine the dress you’d be able to wear — the one that hasn’t fit you in ages! Imagine all your friends having piled on the pounds in the meantime, wondering how the heck you managed to actually get thinner! Go ahead. You deserve to look and feel great! Make that new and improved body your own personal Christmas present.

Shyness and blushing often go hand in hand. Blushing can sometimes feel uncontrollable and if you have a shy disposition then blushing can feel 100 times worse. The problem is, many people decide to jump straight in for drastic measures such as surgery…when the real problem lies inside the mind. Now unless they were planning to remove the “faulty” section of their brain that is actually causing the blushing (which is actually impossible) then I would suggest this to be the worst possible decision if they wanted to cure blushing for good. Blushing is associated with shyness, social anxiety and low self confidence. Surgery cant “nip and tuck” those problems with a knife. There are of course many ways to counteract these problems. First you need to understand which comes first – the shyness/low self confidence/anxiety or the blushing? This might sound strange, but some people blush that are not shy and only become shy or anxious as a result of their blushing. This is a viscous circle that can quickly escalate. So, are you a shy/anxious person that has a tendency to blush? Or are you an outgoing person who can’t help blushing either way? If you feel that you blush uncontrollably and it is making you feel more reclusive and ultimately shyer and more anxious, then you may find solace in treating the physical condition via either cosmetic treatment or, only in extreme circumstances surgery can be an option…although not particularly recommended. Alternatives to surgery? There are many products that cater for both men and women in the market today, who might want to stop blushing without surgery. Some are good, some aren’t. Products range from light foundations (yes, men can use them too!) to green tinted creams to counteract the redness. There are even other alternatives such as acne creams designed for Rosacea sufferers that are known to be highly effective and also a number of vitamin supplements can help to alleviate some of the more extreme cases of facial redness, rosacea, blushing and hot flashes. Even if you fall into the naturally shy category and feel you blush as a result of being shy, knowing that you aren’t showing your uncomfortable blush can do wonders for you self confidence in itself. On the other hand, if you are a shy/anxious person and you think that the blushing is a bi-product of being shy, you can begin to tackle the emotional/psychological reasons behind your shyness. So if you want to know how to stop blushing without surgery, you need to be prepared to take a journey a little deeper than just skin deep…and truly discover the fundamental causes as to your shyness/low self-confidence and anxiety Perhaps you could reach out either to a professional or a trusted and understanding friend. Or maybe try joining a support group or chat with people online? Once you have targeted the areas that make you feel this way you should have a better sense of direction when it comes to actually treating your low self confidence issues for good.

Do you have enough energy to create the life you want? Energy is the critical, invisible force that creates your vitality and aliveness. Without it, you drag through life, tired, stressed, and drained. With it, you feel good, enjoy yourself, and have the fuel to create what you want in life. When it comes to energy, more is definitely better and you can create more energy with a few simple steps. Your Energy Account Think of your energy like a bank account. Your thoughts, activities, actions, and interactions all have the potential to increase or decrease the balance in your account. Withdrawing energy lowers the balance; depositing energy raises the balance. To keep your energy account high (which is what you want) minimize your withdrawals and maximize your deposits. It sounds so simple but how can you actually do this? How Do You Keep the Balance High? Here are two keys to increasing the balance in your energy account. 1) Drop the drains. We use energy all day long. That’s what energy is for. However, some things drain too much of our life energy. You might be drained by your job, certain family members, technology, time pressures, negative self-talk, negativity in others, or world problems. What drains you is unique to you. A job, a person, or a task you find draining might not be draining for someone else. Do less of what drains you. This may seem obvious yet it has been a breakthrough idea for some of my clients. Somehow they hadn’t thought of stopping or doing less of what drained them. When they did – surprise! – they had a lot more energy. 2) Do what lights you up. What lights you up is what energizes and enlivens you, what you love, what you’re passionate about. By their very nature, your “lights” are deposits to your energy account. The more you do what lights you up, the more energy you’ll have. Like energy drains, lights are specific to each individual. What lights you up could actually drain someone else and vice versa. People are lit up about many things: a walk on the beach, visiting an art museum, playing with a pet, listening to music, talking with friends. This list could go on forever. The key is to identity what lights YOU up and what drains YOU. Then do more of the former and less of the latter. An Example I’ve been working on a project the last month or so, a project that was taking more time than I thought it would or “should.” I began to pressure myself to get the darn thing done. I started working more and playing less. This drained much energy out of my account without replenishing it so the balance kept getting lower and I kept feeling worse. By the time I realized what was happening, my energy was very low. This “low balance alert” told me I needed to stop the energy drains and do more of what lights me up before I hit NSF (non-sufficient funds) in my energy account! For me that meant allowing myself to slow down, working less on the project, and taking at least two hours every day to do something that lit me up. The first day on my new plan, I worked only a couple of hours on my project. I then took a top-down drive in my convertible on a summery day, went to lunch at an elegant restaurant with a book I was interested in, and spent time visiting with friends. Throughout the day, I kept reminding myself it was okay to slow down and take it easy. By the evening I was on an energy high, feeling happy, calm, and more myself. Just one day of less drain and more lights made a huge difference! I’ll continue to make this a priority until my energy account is filled up. In Your Life If you’d like to increase the balance in your energy account, here are a few suggestions. 1) Assess your energy account. What’s your balance? If you’re overflowing with positive energy, congratulations! Keep doing what you’re doing as it’s working for you. If your balance is not as high as you’d like, try the steps below. If your energy is depleted or draining rapidly as mine was, make restoring your energy your number one priority. Use the steps below to boost your energy as quickly as possible. 2) Notice what drains you. Ask yourself “What is draining me?” and get curious about the answer. Give yourself permission to and be creative about how to decrease your energy drains. 3) Give yourself permission to and do more of what lights you up. If you don’t yet know what lights you up — or would like to know more — ask yourself on a regular basis, “What lights me up?” or “Does this light me up?” Create a list of what makes you feel alive, sparkly, passionate, energized, soothed, and nurtured. Spend some time every day doing something from that list. The more you do what lights you up and the less you do what drains you, the higher your energy balance. Paraphrasing Mark Twain, “What is a woman without energy? Nothing – nothing at all.” Raise your energy balance and make you and your life something – something wonderful. Enjoy!