Discover What You Really Want – Ask This Question

Kids Know What They Want When I was a child, it was easy. I’d sit down with a cup of hot cocoa, some cookies, and a sheet of paper to write my letter to Santa. I’d tell him everything I wanted for Christmas. I had no trouble identifying what I wanted. I didn’t worry about whether I thought I could have it, how much it cost, or what other people would think. I knew what I wanted and I asked for it! Sometime between those childhood years and becoming an adult, I became much less clear. What I wanted got lost in “shoulds,” obligations, other people’s opinions, and my own judgments. This seems to happen to most of us. We lose touch with what we truly want. And how can we create what we want when we don’t know what that is? If you long for more pleasure, passion, and purpose in your work and life, the clearer you are about what you want, the better. But what if you don’t know? What if you are unclear, stuck or confused about what you want? The Santa Claus Question “If I were Santa Claus and could bring you anything you wanted, what would that be?” This is one of my favorite questions to help myself and my clients connect with what we truly want. Here’s an example: I was working with Janet (I’ve changed her name to protect her privacy) and she wanted to create a new information product for her clients. She had been thinking and thinking, yet she wasn’t lit up about the ideas she had. She was stuck. I requested she take a few moments to play in the field of all possibilities; to set aside all she had been thinking and all that she “knew” about what was and wasn’t possible. She agreed. I then asked “If I were Santa Claus and could bring you anything you wanted, what information product would you love to offer your customers?” Within a moment she knew! She was instantly energized by her idea. It was just the right offering for her clients. Plus she already had it mostly written so it would be very easy for her to create. What was amazing was that, hard as she’d tried, she had not thought of this idea until just that moment. When she took a pause, shifted her attention to a different question, and opened to a broader range of possibilities, she got a new answer. With that answer she found clarity about what she wanted and the energy to create it. The rest was easy. She had the new product ready for her customers within a few days. In Your Life Here’s how you can play with the Santa Claus question to discover and uncover what you truly want. 1) Pick an area where you’re unclear, stuck, or confused about what you want. Examples: * A project at work * Your work life * Redoing your bedroom * Celebrating your birthday 2) Make an agreement with yourself. For just a few moments you’ll set aside what you “know” is or isn’t possible. You’ll focus on WHAT you want and not IF or HOW it could happen. Remember you don’t have to do anything based on what you discover; you’re simply learning more about what you want. Play with this and see what happens. 3) Ask yourself the Santa Claus question. If Santa doesn’t work for you, change the question to “If I could wave a magic wand. . .” or “If I were a genie offering you unlimited wishes. . . .” Examples: * If I could ask Santa Claus for anything I wanted, what would I ask for with this project I’m working on?* If a genie appeared and offered me unlimited wishes, what would I ask for in my work life? * If I could wave a magic wand and get whatever I wanted, what would my bedroom look and feel like? * If Santa Claus could give me anything I wanted, what would I ask for to celebrate my birthday? Be bold, wild, and outrageous in what you ask for. Usually once my clients get going with this, they have great fun making their Santa Claus lists. Write down as many answers and details as come to you. You can always come back to the list and add to it. You can also return to the list later and see which ideas are worth exploring and pursuing. Then What? What happens next varies greatly, of course. Sometimes, like Janet in the example above, you get clear immediately and are able to create what you want right away. Other times something amazing and unexpected shows up in your life. Like the woman I know who got clear that she wanted to record a CD of her music. However, she didn’t know where she would get the money for the recording session. Within a few weeks, she received a check in the mail for almost exactly the amount she needed. It was an unexpected inheritance from her grandmother! Other times, the journey to what you want may take longer and require more action on your part. Still, knowing where you want to go is a BIG step in the right direction. So ask yourself the “Santa Claus question” often and create more clarity, energy, and possibility for getting what you truly want in your life. Enjoy!