Gaining Self Esteem

When our self esteem is low, we tend to have the habit of picking at ourselves. Little self criticisms enter our thoughts constantly, and a lot of the time we do not even realize we are doing it! We just feel crumby. It is simply a bad habit to pick at your self, but since that makes us feel sad and incompetent it limits us from doing all we can in life. When we notice we are doing self criticizing, we can argue with the criticism and that helps. But if each evening we just think of three things we can feel good about ourselves, that would go a long way to building a more positive habit of looking at ourselves in terms of the good, rather than the bad and help us in life. We deserve to have better self esteem. And the stronger we are, the more we can help others and want to help others, so we should never feel guilty about feeling good about ourselves. It is not selfish. There is a big difference between healthy self esteem and being egotistical or insensitive to others. The egoist usually does not feel good about themselves. Their big words about themselves is a cover up how small they feel. Self esteem is often quiet. Some person with good self esteem is not threatened by others criticizing them. With healthy self esteem they can laugh at their own mistakes, rather than having mistakes make them unhappy and sad. So at the end of each day, write in a journal or an online blog at least three things that either you did today or ways that you are, that are things that you can feel good about or proud of. Maybe you were kind to someone or did a task very well, or resisted a temptation, or just simply did your best and tried, even if things did not turn out well. What kinds of things do you admire in other people? Did you do any of those things today? What qualities did you admire in your parents? Do you take after them in any of those ways? Are there other ways you chose consciously not to be like? Have you avoided addictions or crime? We already have many qualities we take for granted. Perhaps you received a compliment or two today, or a thank you note, and those are also good things to note. Do remember all these things in your daily life. Write three things a night for a week to start and then try to make it a whole month slowly and slowly. Every person has value, every single day. You especially need to write three things on those days when you feel less good about yourself, but if you miss a night, just start again the next night. In a month you will have a little collection. It can be a good thing to re-read when you are feeling low. And will feel a noticeable difference as you go through your day.